Delerium

I have one love,

No comfort only despair.

I continue on to make it one more day

There is hope and fear in my heart

Others will say that I am amazing

That someone will find me that

Fears losing me as much as I fear

Losing them

But there were three leaves on the autumn branch

I saw the first and loved

It was exotic and beautiful

I was young and headstrong, and like a dandelion in the spring

Took the leaf to my chest and breathed on it.

Though I held it gingerly at first, I held tighter

As time passed, and my breath became a gale.

The leaf flew from my hand as I let it go

I saw the second leaf, strong in the wind

It wanted to be wild and free, but as I took

And held it, it accepted me.

There were two seeds with it, which were planted and grew

They still grow strong.

But again I was finding and losing myself

The leaf recoiled and left my hand, landing close by.

Yet gone forever.

I Looked to the tree at the last leaf

I was hesitant to hold it close to me,

But it adored me and melted my fears.

I took it to my heart and was happy for a time.

Until I turned it in my hand from afar and an unseen thorn

Dug deeply and I recoiled.

It still lies far away, working to reach the wind

So that it may fly.

I haven’t talked about the fourth leaf.

Still beautiful and strong, vibrant and green,

Though it had been battered by the wind.

I took the branch and bent it close, not wanting to remove it from its perch

It was unhappy not being able to leave the tree,

hesitant to leave what it had always known

I touched it and it was soft. I whispered to it and it whispered back

I loved this one above all, and I knew it loved me.

There was the promise of life and joy I had never known

I watered it and held the branch close at first, but

Knew it needed sunshine, so I bent the branch less and knew it was happier.

There it sits to this day. Not wanting to bend, only to be alone

Though no other leaves remain, it prefers this

And I sit waiting to see. If it will one day bend toward me

Like it promised.

I know it will not. But my hope still lingers.

There are no other leaves for me

2 thoughts on “Delerium

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    1. Thank you for commenting on Delerium. This one was hard for me, my feelings on what is happening in my life. I was finishing my last semester and was away for some time, but I’m back now. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Reading my writing means a lot to me. Take care and please let me know if you like anything else in the future 🙂

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